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You ever feel so overwhelmed by racism that your stomach and your head and your heart hurt and you feel like screaming until your throat bleeds but you have to sit quietly so you don’t upset your nice, normal White family and a little part of you is dying but you can’t even speak? That’s kind of the worst.
Yes. Nothing like fighting years of whitewashing and conditioning to hold onto the truth, only to be stigmatized for it. X
"I want a teenager that screams their hatred at me and wishes their birth mother had raised them, I want a young adult who feels sorry that they were a bratty teenager."
^ Another pearl of an adoptive parenting fantasy from “An Adoption Journey" in her most recent white whine over "anti-adoption blogs."
For any adoptees not yet aware of this white supremacist adopter (she’s already making great headway in buying a child and raising them to be “sorry” for ever wishing to live with their birth mom):
Anadoptionjourney is a stalker who follows us for the sole purpose of insulting and pathologizing adoptees (especially transracial adoptees) about our own experiences.
To her, it’s OK for adoptive parents to tell adoptees and foster care survivors “fuck you” and try to shame us with white opinions.
She’s thrown ableist abuse at us long before, yet still she refuses to unfollow and LEAVE US ALONE.
If you’re adopted and publicly disclose this on tumblr, she’s probably following you. Please be warned.
oh ew. i made this tumblr with the express purpose in mind of getting some safe space away from white adopters with messiah complexes and now who do i find immediately popping up in my new follower count
but srsly, heart goes out to whatever child ends up with this white lady. dismissing an adopted kid’s wish for birth family as a bratty teenage phase, wowee that betrays some fucked up mindset.
this article starts with the line ‘when half the faculty at Harvard and Boston College Law Schools endorse a bill that encourages poor countries to take children from their mothers and send them to the United States for adoption, you’d think something was amiss’ and it’s probably a sign i read too many (or just enough) adoption blogs that my first thought was ‘i thought that was the whole point of international adoption’.
"Children who were not unparented or homeless before end up becoming institutionalized as a direct result of orphanages setting up shop in poor areas.”
My birth mother gave me the name “Waykedria” but my white adoptive parents changed it to “Rebekah” because “Waykedria” was too abnormal for them and they could never spell it. They kept is as a middle name solely out of respect for my birth mother. I was also teased and called ghetto when I told people by middle name. I started to hate it, shame it, hide it and curse my birth mother for ever giving to me.
Then recently, when I decided to start looking for my birth mother, my adoptive mother gave me a letter that my birth mother wrote to me when I was a baby. In it, she explain everything not only about the adoption but also why she names me Waykedria. It was a family name that has been passed down to the first female in my grandfathers family for generations. My perspective completely changed. I started to take pride upon realizing the everything people had told me didn’t matter. Also felt so cheated and lied to that my adoptive parents just erased a whole part of my identity just to make their own lives more comfortable. So I looked good on paper. Just because your name has more letters or a different combination of letters than what society is used to, does not make you less. It does not make you ghetto, chances are your name has a meaning to it.
It is because of this that it irks me so much when transracial adoptee or international students are alway forced to change their name it something more “American” sounding. My sister from Ethiopia was forced to change her name, my 6 cousins forced to changed from “Semegn” to Sarah, from Ashenafi to “Joseph. You erase culture, you erase identities. You tell us we need to “fit in” to white culture or we won’t make it. You basically tell us that our culture and identity come second to white Americas comfort.
Truly GLORIOUS post.
This xenophobic erasure of birth identity takes place in every First World(tm) nation comprising the “receiver countries” of the adoption industry, but there’s an added level of absurdity in countries like the U.S., Canada, and Australia that have been invaded with foreigners to begin with (see The European Settlers’ Inability to Feel at Home by transracial adoptee & activist Tobias Hübinette).
I was a white child adopted by a white family within my country, so I cannot speak for anything. But I do have a cousin who is a POC adopted by my aunt and uncle. I admire their willingness and efforts to get him involved in a local Korean community as he grew up. They encourage any desire to know about his heritage. But I know not everyone is so lucky. I do know that this is a touchy subject. I don't claim to know anything, I was just curious of your opinion on such things. I wish you well.
My opinion is that transracial adoption, especially transnationally, is skeevy as fuck and reeks of white entitlement; it’s also hella enraging when white people work furiously to keep POC institutionally oppressed then swoop in and “rescue” our babies.
It’s a complex and painful issue, but I know that we need to be centralizing the voices of adoptees of color and mothers of color.
Also (and this has echoed by SO many transracial adoptees: "Encouraging one’s heritage" etc. actually does fuck all to prepare us for surviving in the racist societies we’re adopted into.
Furthermore, it conveniently displaces the problems of transracial/national adoption onto the child of color, and not on the parents and THEIR responsibility to examine their white privilege/savior complex, and their duty to combat white supremacy
because white Westerners adopting children of color is actually the opposite of anti-racism, ESPECIALLY when the children are from countries they’ve invaded.
Black people are more likely to be queer
Black queers are more likely to get married
Black queers are more likely to adopt children
Yet the face of gay marriage and adoption are white people
I don’t consider myself queer, I don’t even believe in the institution of marriage but this pisses me off to no end. I’ve had to explain to my teachers that HRC is awful and that white gay men are such a copout and often don’t realize what their heteronormative behaviors do to queer identified and gender non-conforming individuals.
um, i wanna know where op is getting that third fact bc it’s completely fucking wrong? lol. adoption is and always has been run by white people for white people. do some damn reading and try again.
The reason the face of adoption is white is because adoption is a racist, sexist, classist for-profit industry that trafficks children, erases the entirety of non-Western single parents, and actively destroys indigenous cultures and communities more than any other operation the Western world currently has running.
I get what you’re trying to say here, but If you’re concerned with the discourse on adoption, how about you NOT disregard actual adoptees.
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