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But I was hoping you could point me towards transracial adoptee communities (forums or whatever) where I can read about peoples' experiences with these things. Also i would be very grateful any resources on decolonizing one's mind. I know you're not paid to do this so please don't feel obligated if none of this is inconvenient for you.
bastardplanet has covered every single issue & occurrence that every other adoptee/adoption reform org I’ve ever met (and I’ve run through MANY) either refuses to face or doesn’t know enough about. It’s also the most global community I’ve seen, great for us international bastards.
Of course, region specific communities can be great— there are a tonne of real life adoptee communities and meetups concentrated in different cities and regions all over the world, but I don’t know if you’re looking for RL groups?
Gazillion Voices is from the now inactive Land of Gazillion Adoptees. U.S.-based but not U.S.-centric. More of a publication than community/forum, but discussion is encouraged and often decent, sometimes helpful.
As for resources on decolonizing our minds, I don’t think one can do better than following fellow transracial and transethnic adoptees: fifthblackbird, amazing-how-you-love, indigoradix, dickensianwerewolf, and peaceshannon all put in glorious work and publish regularly.
On that note — not to toot my own horn, but this is literally my 7,000th post. Happy anniversary to me! X
This is why it is so crucial to distinguish between transracial adoption and transethnic adoption.
Transethnic adoptees experience the profound loss of heritage and erasure of identity, but they also benefit from white privilege in ways that transracial adoptees never can.
in regards to hyunsu’s murder, holt is now publicly saying that the bruises on hyunsu’s body could be “MONGOLIAN SPOTS” or BIRTH MARKS - audacious claims considering the AUTOPSY found “a fracture at the base of skull, bruises to the forehead, swelling of the brain and wounds to other parts of the body..blunt impact to the back from a linear and triangular shaped object.”
but why wouldn’t holt be audacious? this isn’t the first time children who have been adopted through holt have been murdered by their adoptive parents. in 2008, when four korean children were murdered by their adoptive parents, holt’s response was: “Holt International Children’s Services investigated and found that the Sueppels were a very good family when the children were adopted. They had no criminal records. Mr. Sueppel’s parents and brothers had decent jobs.”
apparently if you have no criminal record and your parents and brothers have decent jobs… by holt’s standards, you are a “very good family” - NO! yes, there is abuse in biological families but we can’t screen biological families before they have children. however, we can and SHOULD screen adoptive families rigorously before we place children in their care. clearly, the screening process at holt (who placed hyunsu AND the four 2008 murder case victims) and catholic charities (the american agency hyunsu was placed through) is NOT working.
holt must take responsibility for its part in hyunsu’s death!!
So I was talking to my dad about how my friend couldn’t take her driving test because of some crazy accident thing that happened at the DMV before she got there.
He found it necessary to start saying how “Asians are bad drivers. Sure, most of them are really smart, but they just can’t drive” and how the person must’ve been a white male cause if it was a POC or anyone else people would be like “oh poor minority!”. Then he started telling me how I need to start practicing driving more cause it’ll be “good for me”.
What the heck.
First of all,
He doesn’t know the details. I looked it up, and it sounds like it was a teenage girl who just panicked during her driving test. So his assumption (aka stereotype) was wrong.
Secondly of all, and more importantly…
I love my dad and everything, but is he really that “colorblind” and ignorant to realize he basically insulted and stereotyped my race? Is he even thinking about how that might make me feel? To know that people are just gonna look at me and think “oh, bad Asian driver”? And that my dad might be one of those people? Whether their “good” or “bad” drivers, it is not okay to go blatantly stereotyping a group based on a few people. Or to go to talking to your POC daughter about how her own race isn’t good at something.
I already have a crappy confidence when it comes “proving” myself and being “enough” and trying not to be affected by stereotypes and stuff but really? This doesn’t help it at all.
He’s said things like this before (like with my extended family), and I just brushed it off. But now? Not cool. Badly done, dad.
I felt the need to post this. Because only you all would understand. It hurts to know that someone I love and care about make assumptions like these and then shares it to their daughter.
I don’t even know what to say or think .
^The “colorblindness” of white adoptive parents, yall.
When watching a show I don’t think ‘Well politically correctly there should be two more minorities’
I’m thinking ‘This is suffocating, this isn’t what life is like, why do i not exist, why do my friends not exist, what the fuck is with this idealisation of one type of person?’
Hi brandx, I'm a transracial and transnational adoptee and recently I've started thinking about what this means for my identity. And thanks to your blog I learned that my brother (adopted transnationally/transracially from a diff country than myself) was diagnosed with RAD. I don't know what to think about all this. (1/?)
Thank you so much for writing, always glorious to hear from fellow international transracial adoptees. And I’m sorry for my delayed response, but this was very hard for me to write —
There is no easy way to say this, but your brother’s life is in danger. I’m a RAD survivor, and despite there being thousands of kids all throughout the Western world who’ve been subjected to the treatment purporting to treat this disorder that violates every human rights charter & childrens rights convention on earth, our rate of survival is almost nil, particularly among transracial/national adoptees.
quiltbagging PLEASE message me with your brother’s age, your country of residence (I’m assuming both of you live in the same nation), and any other of crucial info of his such as other diagnosed disorders (real or perceived) so I’ll be able to assist you much more and help ensure his safety.
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