Your web-browser is very outdated, and as such, this website may not display properly. Please consider upgrading to a modern, faster and more secure browser. Click here to do so.
ducking back in from hiatus for a hot second to let you all know that fellow transracial adoptee this-isnt-your-captain-speaking is lovely with a heart & mind full of strength & grace
and if you’re a fellow class bastard and magical orphan you should definitely follow her X
You ever feel so overwhelmed by racism that your stomach and your head and your heart hurt and you feel like screaming until your throat bleeds but you have to sit quietly so you don’t upset your nice, normal White family and a little part of you is dying but you can’t even speak? That’s kind of the worst.
Yes. Nothing like fighting years of whitewashing and conditioning to hold onto the truth, only to be stigmatized for it. X
I was trans-racially adopted with my twin brother. We’re 24 and we have never spoken about it. I want more than anything to reclaim my heritage, and am in the process of learning Spanish (albeit slowly), and am beginning to learn my history. I want to talk to my brother about this, because he’s the only person who understand the situation blow-for-blow. But I’m so afraid that he isn’t affected like I am. I’m afraid he’ll think I’m blowing it out of proportion. I’m scared and I can’t decide if I’m willing to breach that confrontation and risk finding out that my blood doesn’t empathize and that I am, truly, alone. And if he isn’t in the same boat I am, then I don’t know if I can ever seek out my birthmother. If I were to meet her, how could I ever say “Your son doesn’t want to meet you. I am here by myself.”
I think that’s what scariest about pro-lifers who insist that adoption is the solution to abortion. It’s eugenic, it’s racist, it’s about having total control over people you consider inferior. You decide if they have a child, you take the child away, you raise them in your own culture, you punish them very severely if they show allegiance to their heritage or are less than your ideal. It is terrifying rhetoric said with a smile, and it implies that all adoptees were potential abortions when many parents fight very hard to keep their children.
"Adoptees who are consciously dissociating themselves from their country of origin and see themselves as whites are interpreted as examples of successful adjustments, while interest in cultural heritage and biological roots is seen as an indication of poor mental health."
You wish you were ___________? You think it’s “cute” to be mixed?
Get your no-nothing white ass up out that chair at Starbucks and go talk to some mixed folk.
Talk to them about what it feels like to not look like what they think they should.
So I agree with the sentiment and all white people must be stopped 2K14, but transracial is a thing as in transracial adoptees, most often children of color adopted by white people.
So, it’d be great if you could ya’ know, get it right before making things hard for people who identify rightly with the word transracial.
Also I’m pretty sure the term ya’ll are looking for is transethnic?
I know that transracial is the word used to describe adoptions where the adoptee is a different race than their new family, and when I was writing this I did not conflate the two. Nor did I conflate the experiences of someone who is transracially adopted with the experiences of a white person who believes that they are another race “on the inside.”
However, this does not mean that the way I chose to use my language in this post was appropriate or effective if those two experiences could be confused for one another or taken as the same or similar after reading this. I will make it a point to use transethnic from now on.
I am extremely sorry if this post invalidated the experiences of any transracial adoptees: you are more than welcome to message me with any critiques or concerns regarding my language in this post.
Thanks for looking out,
Transethnic is a legitimate term. It signifies adoptees who are (or can pass for) the same race as their adoptive family, but are of a different ethnicity. It encompasses every international adoption on the planet, and many domestic ones as well.
Its history dates back to World War II, but the terminology remains lesser known in North America, though increasing numbers of white & white-passing adoptees there are identifying with it as they discover and reclaim their birth heritage. It’s very common for children to be trafficked/coerced from indigenous nations, then passed off by agencies as “Italian” or “French Canadian” in order to avoid the Indian Child Welfare Act and other protective regulations.
Your apology is appreciated and you seem like a class act, so I’ll take the time to inform you that by posting “TRANSRACIAL/ETHNIC ISN’T A LEGIT THING” without so much as mentioning adoptees (we really are sick of these common-as-dirt posts by now kthnx), you’re actually aiding the racist spawn who’ve hijacked our terms and contributing to the oppressively bullshit notion that adoptees who are ‘transracial’ are “white on the inside.”
And unless you’re posting adoption related-content, please stay out of the #transracial and #transethnic tags. Most of us are raised in all-white areas, and for many the internet is still the ONLY means of connecting with fellow POC and adoptees. X
As a transracial adoptee living in a near all-white (read: segregated) area, I realized that the huge majority of the time when I see someone of my race, they are also transracially adopted by white people. This is so fucked up.
Yep. It is. For a long time, the only contact I had with fellow POC and adoptees was online. Suffice to say, I grew up and got the hell out.
I’m sorry your area’s so white and segregated. Just know that it takes rare courage and strength of mind to be raised in such an isolated miasma of whiteness, only to defy everyone’s expectations and break through and see the fog for what it is. X
Growing up in a white family, did you ever wish you would have grown up in a black family or feel like you were missing out?
Yes, all the time. Don’t me wrong, I love my family and i think they did good with what resources they had, but as far as culture, my own identity and sanity i certainly never felt like i belonged and always felt lost.
I also grew up in a predominantly white city so i didn’t even have a black community i could connect with, it was literally just me and other transracially adopted family members going thru the same thing till high school. So i really had and still have a hard time connecting with my family members simply because i don’t feel like i have anything in common with them, it has gotten a bit better now mainly with my mom, we actually talk about race & racism quite a bit but it still feels like we try to tiptoe around the elephant in the room that “hey guess what, you have 3 black kids in your family, we are not and never will be white”.
People always ask me if i could’ve switched, would i, and that is always a hard question for me to answer. Growing up in a black family certainly would have made my life easier and less stressful, but i think i would have also taken a considerably different path in life and would not have turned out to be the person i am today.
First off, this blog is great, never stop. Transracial adoptee here having kind of a bummer day. I've just recently begun talking to my mom about racial issues and my anger and frustration at my upbringing, and today she told me that when I first brought up my feelings to her, she thought I was ungrateful! I get raised without ever seeing a single person who looked like me or feeling like I was allowed to discuss my feelings, and I'm supposed to be grateful?! I just don't know what to think.
Aw shucks, you glorious GLORY. You and fellow class bastards are the only souls beyond myself that I’m plugging away on this platform for. X xxxx
Sorry to hear of your adoptive mother’s failure. Because that’s what it is — a failure on her part, one she’s trying to foist on you with the old “BUT WHY AREN’T YOU GRATEFUL??!!” derail. Which is bullshit for so many reasons, but the biggest by far (and most powerful antidote to white savior guilt tripping, seriously wish someone had told me when I first began decolonizing) is simply this:
The demand for adoptees FAR outweighs the actual supply. It’s why all First World(tm) “receiver” countries went overseas and started industrializing child abduction. And the demand is only INCREASING while the “supply” is getting harder to come by as more and more countries are banning Western adoption and its inevitable corruption.
International adoption remains highly exclusive, with many hopeful parents getting turned down. Domestic adoption is even more competitive (even in the U.S. with its prison industrial complex and appallingly shite social infrastructure)!
So in reality, your adoptive mom is the one who needs to be grateful for YOU. She literally beat out thousands of other competitors, most of whom are increasingly willing to confront white supremacy if they only they could adopt.
I could say a lot more to you on this. Lemme know if you’re interested, this-isnt-your-captain-speaking. X
Page 1 of 34