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Just know that so many teachings on healing and forgiveness focuses on sympathizing with and humanizing the abuser/ person who hurt you.
It is based in the false idea that them hurting you also hurt them and they need to be cared for.
and to think about their lives/childhoods; “maybe they were abused.”
And cared for ABOVE your own needs.
I just finished reading them, actually. If we had continued the conversation then you would have found out that nearly all of the experiences you've written about or reblogged have happened to me because of the circumstances of my birth and how I was raised. It's clear there's not much point in continuing, though. Have a good week and a nice holiday.
oh wowowowow so YOU TOO were picked out of a catalog between $30,000 - $50,000 bucks a pop with final price contingent on your physical attractiveness, number of diseases, and neurotypicality?!
YOU TOO had your gender determined by industry laws of supply & demand with your parents’ purchasing power? YOU TOO were regularly likened to the most infamous serial rapists & murderers that preyed upon your (paid predetermined) gender? YOU TOO were trafficked and warehoused in an exponentially growing underground market of parents who abandon and trade their “forever children” with zero legal repercussions? YOU TOO survived government subsidized institutionalization to cure the “primal wound” of your conception and “inevitably sociopathic rage against your birth mother” wherein you were subjected to “therapies” that so violate every human rights convention on the planet they’ve resulted in the highest number of documented cases of child death-by-torture in modern history? YOU TOO had your true age, place of birth, parentage, and developmental history completely withheld from you by the entity that delivered you to your fam for aforementioned $30,000 - $50,000? YOU TOO have been the subject of economic recovery and bans? YOU TOO had the circumstances of your birth certificate(s) make a multinational-billion behemoth charged with mass abduction trip over itself to enlist your help to cover its own ass in an oncoming diplomatic standoff? YOU TOO have been roadblocked all access to your medical history in the midst of cancer treatment?
YOU TOO were told throughout childhood & adolescence that all your immediate family members were killed by a war responsible for your “salvation,” only to discover as an adult EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM STILL ALIVE.
How we doing here? 8 outta 10? Surely not less, seeing how you share “nearly all my experiences” of course.
Being bi/multi-racial does not actually endow you with ANY insight into being orphaned, a transracial adoptee, a transethnic adoptee, or a foster kid.
From a message you didn’t post: “I’m not saying that I have insight into the specifics of your adoption or adoptions in general, I’m referring to white families with children of color and how they systematically marginalize them despite the label of family. I am aware of the differences, I was only suggesting that it would be interesting to discuss what common ground we may have.”
I was specifically referring to the way in which white family members deal with family members of color, period. To pretend that I was going further than that is dishonest and ridiculous. I’m not going to respond to anything else you say, but I wanted to at least put it in context for folks who follow me.
Wow, brandx, no one is coming for your gold medal here. When people are sympathizing and being compassionate with an aspect of your life that is similar to theirs, how about you not be a freaking dick about it.
was gonna stay outta this but the black adoptee body counts just keeps stacking too high across my dash to have some ableist snot like you dismiss a transracial class bastards own lived experience and survival as OPPRESHUN OLYMPICS. of course to your basic existence such human rights violations sound ridiculous and grandiose. for us just another day that ends in y. if i had a nickel for every clueless “sympathizing” spawn who presumed to identify with our experience while desperately erasing the hells out of it, i could buy your nasty ass several times over at transnational adoption rate even.
"Wow, brandx, no one is coming for your gold medal here" Aaaand THIS is a perfect example of transracial adoptees are routinely silenced even by POC — an ugly truth I actually bothered to give Jordanbudd, which he blithely steamrolled over as he was only interested in using my identity to sign off on his bullshit preconceptions for a basic little piece already written a thousand times over at the expense of far more critical realities facing transracial adoptees. Jordanbudd is a lying shitbag, but Kweenlemon you take the cake as flat out child torture apologist “ally.” Take your worthless, ableist “sympathy” and choke on it.
I was too bored to point out how grossly common it is for biracial bio spawn to over-identify with transracial adoptees, so cheers to Indigoradix for articulating it just so! And as much as ignorant “sympathizers” wish this was about them, I wrote this post as a clarion call to any fellow adoptee out there whose gone through the same. But god forbid we notes our experience to those who claim to want to learn about us without the requisite traces of shame.
getting real fucking sick of the expectations and even gratitude for the “work i’m doing” to end the institutionalized trafficking, torture, and murder of orphans/adoptees/foster kids as if it’s my fucking JOB or that I should even be volunteering for it in the first place because there’s no one fucking else survivors are literally one out of a thousand and white would-be adoptive parents are happy to flood my inbox with their dumsbhit queries but when i post about the actual systemic abuses of international & domestic adoption & foster care they don’t ever even signal boost fuck. you. ALL.
meanwhile posts coming across my dash and multiple blog feeds about adopted children of color dying left and right and Michael & Debi Pearl are simply part of an international system that advocates literal torture & brainwashing techniques to force kids, most of them adopted and foster children of color, to attach to their parents and “saviors” (it’s by no means specific to North America and actually took off in its most violent incarnations in Europe)
i do not have the fucking time/energy right now to put together a coherent post about the Pearls being the tip of the iceberg. Nor should i ever HAVE to have that level of singularly steely will that took over my entire childhood
seriously the worst thing about being one of the precious few survivors of this is the complacency that those who’ve gone through it as children should be the ones putting a stop to it. if you’ve ever wasted my precious time with your white savior bullshit and aren’t spreading the world about this shit yourself you are part of the problem i rightfully fucking HATE you.
I just want to throw it out there that I really appreciate the fact that, in Pacific Rim, Mako Mori was never really shamed for wanting revenge on the Kaiju. Sure, her initial Drift with Raleigh was botched by her intense emotions, but even after, neither the characters nor the narrative told her to forget revenge or anger. Her desire for vengeance drove her, and that was okay. No one told her to forgive the Kaiju, and the filmmakers never threw in a scene with her looking a Kaiju in the eye and saying, “It’s really very beautiful.” AND THAT’S GREAT, because, while forgiveness is healing for many people, for others it can be just as healing to know that what happened to you will never happen to anyone else ever again. The narrative allowed Mako to both own and utilize her emotions, and for that it gets a gold star from me.
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