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catieissomethingcreative said: I kinda think that if you’re white and going to adopt a non-white child, you shouldn’t be a dick about it. That’s really it. Don’t congratulate yourself, don’t brag about it, just be a fucking parent.
Transracial adoption can seriously fuck you up and your white parents are all like, “but, but BUT I gave you everything! I’ve ALWAYS supported you!!!”
"But I can’t be racist - I have brown kids!"
But you’re told stories about family members concerned about “how brown is you’re going to be” and hear conversations about how “interracial marriages just don’t mix” and while at 9 you know, know, KNOW that you are expected to marry white. And you hear about how the Mexicans should go back to where they came from and as a Colombian you’re sitting in the back with Mexican, Peruvian and Guatemalan sibs wondering how that does not include all of you.
Then comes the day that you realize that the only reason you are worthy is because they changed everything about you and stamped you with their white last name. And that last name is a fucking weight to bear because you are expected to live up to their expectations, live up to the whiteness and deny, deny, deny everything else.
Until one day you don’t.
But even then - you still feel like a fraud, an interloper, an appropriator of a culture that should have been yours but was not. And continually having to work to dismantle the white supremacist thinking that you were brought up with - not just about all those other POCs out there but also about yourself.
Bolding that shit for emphasis.
Mundane bio spawn simply can’t cope with our complexity.
It’s either “shut up you’re WHITE on the inside you’re WESTERN you don’t know and can’t claim ANY of your birth hertiage”
"shut up you’re NOT WHITE you’re a FOREIGNER you don’t REALLY belong here and you can’t claim any of your adoptive heritage what about your ‘REAL’ family"
"you’re not actually colombian, you’re american” - literally everyone over the age of 40 (older generations seem to have particular trouble grasping the concept of my ethno-racial identity)
"but you’re basically white" - my well-meaning (adoptive) mom trying to make me feel better about my identity issues
"your parents did a very brave thing in bringing you to this country. they saved your life. how does that make you feel?" - literally any time i went to a new elementary school when I was younger, ignorant as fuck people would tell me this and ask me invasive questions like that. Like who the fuck tells an 8 year old "if it wasn’t for your parents you would probably be begging on a street in Colombia somewhere"???
"no eres colombiana, eres gringa!" - p much every colombian native i met at smith, or on my study abroad program in costa rica. i didn’t stick around actual colombia long enough to see how i would be read there.
"it would be weird to introduce you to my parents bc they think all hispanics are illegals lol" - UMASS bro I hooked up with for a hot second
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