The story of a bunch of breakdancers, graffiti artists, and DJs in the Bronx who have parties in an abandoned building, spray graffiti murals on trains which this fucking piece of shit named Spit sprays his stupid name over, have numerous breakdance battles with a rival crew, meet girls, get in trouble with asshole police officers, and one of the DJs movies his way up in the club circuit, and one of the graffiti artists catches that guy Spit and they fight and fall on one of the electrified rails in the subway and both die, and the whole movie is basically like about 37 music/dance videos with a pretty decent dramatic story taking place in between.
So I’m sure you recognize this as one of the epic moments from “The Prince of Egypt” where we see the super majestic whale as they cross through the Red Sea. However I noticed just one little issue: whale tales don’t move from side to side, they move up and down. And then it hit me, that’s not a whale. That’s not a whale. It’s a motherfucking SHARK. A BIG ASS MEGALODONIAN SHARK. WAITING IN THE WATER TO EAT THE PHARAOH’S SOLDIERS. Goddamn, Dreamworks.
It’s a fucking whale shark. What’s it going to do, filter them to death?
Any adoptive parent who has to deal with a Moses would be fucking horrified.
You take in this kid, you raise him to be whatever your heritage is while simultaneously shitting all over his own heritage and oppressing them awfully, and then when he gets older and starts questioning things…he gets into fights, he runs away from home…he blights your land with plagues in the name of his ancient and mysterious god…he makes the rivers run red, he kills all your first born…he disidentifies so strongly with your heritage that he becomes a spokeperson for his people, leads them out of your country, and drowns your army in the Red Sea for them…
From Pharaoh’s POV, he is totally a super villain every bit as scary as Loki.
Yep, Moses was totally an ungrateful Class Bastard. <3
[Image Description: A animated screencap of Tura Satana in the desert in the film Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! saying “I never try anything. I just do it. And I don’t beat clocks, just people! Wanna try me?]
she was simultaneously a straight-a student in school while being viciously bullied for her heritage + size and punished by her parents for getting into fights. i mean, even without the straight a’s, she was strong and endured feeling isolated at home and at school.
she’s a fellow rape survivor — “Walking home from school at the age of nine she was gang raped by five men. According to Satana, her attackers were never prosecuted and it was rumored that the judge had been paid off. She tells how this prompted her to learn the martial arts of aikido and karate and, over the next 15 years, track down each rapist and exact revenge. ’I made a vow to myself that I would someday, somehow get even with all of them’, she said years later. ‘They never knew who I was until I told them.’”
she began living on her own at the age of 13, after her parents married her to a 17-year old and she wasn’t having that bullshit. i can’t even imagine what that was like.
she was an extremely successful burlesque dancer, and even when she got pregnant at 19 she danced through the first eight months of her pregnancy! and yeah, she still made BANK.
faster pussycat! kill! kill! — a cult classic john waters apparently calls the greatest movie ever made. i still haven’t seen it, but from what i’ve read it portrays the three female leads (tura satana is the LEAD lead) in positions or power that normally men are portrayed in, and that’s allll the way back in the 60’s. she did all her own stunts and fight scenes. the majority of satana’s styling and one-liners, and some additional key concepts of the film, were satana’s own doing.
after being shot by a former lover and staying in a hospital, she decided to study nursing and she did just that. she even briefly worked as the dispatcher for the lapd.
tura satana passed away on 2/4/2011, but she’s still amazing and one of my inspirations as a woc, especially as a mixed-race asian rape survivor struggling to embrace my sexuality. <3 and that’s why i’m giving her her own day! just who she was makes me feel good about me.