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BRAND X

Orphaned transracial international ungrateful insurgent Class Bastard.

Posts tagged adoption

Sep 13 '14

99% of media portrayals of adopted kids

  • scenario 1: no problems ever! graciously rescued from a broken home/impoverished or war-torn country! unquestioningly grateful and indebted to their adoptive family! has nothing but 100% good things to say about being adopted, all the time!
  • scenario 2: absolutely miserable. aggressively resentful of adopted family and of their adoption. will petulantly respond to even the most gentle of requests with proclamations of "you're not my real family!" usually a rebel/delinquent/generally maladjusted and sometimes even violent.
  • The other 1%? Aliens. Seriously.
Sep 2 '14

littlemissgataki asked:

FUCK. Just holy FUCK? I read your posts about RAD and the linked articles. I had to stop about halfway to throw up and I just cried for the rest of it. How do these people exist? How can these things happen? HOW CAN THEY BE LET NEAR CHILDREN? I am trans and my partner and I would very much like children one day and I would quite like to adopt. I'm sorry, i don't really know what to say, this just really distresses me. Is there anything we can do?

Hey littlemissgataki.

This child advocacy organzation does a good job of answering the "how can this happen" and "how people who propagate life threatening torture are let near children" questions.

They have a simple but text heavy site. If you’re truly serious about adopting, I strongly recommend reading and processing ALL of it.

As for what you can do practically:

➊  Find out if your state/county’s tax dollars are going to any “RAD” programs or practitioners. If so, raise hell. Your fellow taxpayers probably wouldn’t be happy if they learn their money’s going to programs that withhold food, water, sleep, education, and oxygen from children, eh?

➋  Drive this into your brain and the brains of as many other people you can find remotely interested in adoption: There is no empirical scientific support for the popular notion that children with attachment problems grow up to become psychopaths or otherwise prey on society.
Practitioners of this torturous “attachment” BS sucker people in with claims that their “treatments” are the only kind that will work to keep a RAD child from turning into a knife-wielding sociopath.

➌  And of course listen to adoptees and support us. One of the few fellow survivors of RAD “therapy/parenting” I’ve been able to find is terriblegurl, who was told that her being gay is a symptom of attachment disorder.

X

Sep 2 '14

soy-un-madridista asked:

I feel like crying right now because so many white people adopt Haitians and its our biggest fear that they won't get love and respect and that they'll have no opportunity to learn about their culture and one day they'll just forget about it.

My heart goes out to you, truly, I wish I could offer comfort and say your fear was unjustified.

I wish I could tell you that Haiti isn’t a target of the Evangelical crusade to traffick and indocrinate children with Christianity.
I wish I could tell you that this nation of heroes wasn’t being reduced to a supply country (adoption industry terminology for non-Western countries).
I wish I could tell you it isn’t true that adopted children are abused at higher rates than biological offspring.

Arm yourself with the truth, harsh as it may be, and know that the first generations of international class bastard adoptees have grown up and led the charge for THIS generation of adoptees.
Align yourself with us, support us, boost our signal, and I promise we will remake the world.

"you take our children
from
their beds
and
our arms.
these are the same children.
who are going
to take
the world
away
from
you.”
Nayyirah Waheed
Sep 2 '14
"#200. I’ve recently learned I’m a Latina, Mediterranean, and Italian girl. It hurts that my white family, including my also adopted (but not biologically related to me) sister, all deny this from me. I want to learn more about my heritage, but I don’t even know if it would make me fake or not. Adoption is not bad; it can be absolutely wonderful. I just wish people who adopt or have adoptees in their family would let them learn about their heritage if the adoptee wants, and not make them feel like they have no right to. I don’t even know what I am. I’m just tired of people asking my parents or sister who I am or if I’m a family friend because unlike them, I have olive skin and dark curly hair."
Sep 1 '14
"I wanna adopt a black baby and save them from the ghettos so I can give them a good life and let them experience being rich"

Third year biochem major (via shitrichcollegekidssay)

BUT WHY AREN’T YOU GRATEFUL?”

Aug 27 '14

Dear white Western liberals

Saying adoptees who critique the adoption industry (yes, industry) are just “angry with your adoptive families” is like saying girls who critique patriarchy are just “mad at your fathers.”

[is your ass jealous of the shit that comes out of your head.gif]

Aug 26 '14
bastardplanet:

lakotapeopleslawproject:

Become a MEMBER at http://lakota.cc/1kvf8ka. #OurChildrenAreSacred In recent weeks, The Mette Affair has crept out of the shadows and has gained momentum. If you are not familiar with this case, please see http://lakotalaw.org/special-reports/the-mette-affair to familiarize yourself. This case epitomizes the corruption of the state of South Dakota and underscores why it is so crucial to create a Lakota run foster care system. We are determined that this deeply disturbing and bone chilling case of sexual and physical abuse of Lakota foster children by their foster parents never occurs again. A “Twitter Storm” began on July 13th and has gained significant ground. To see all of the relevant content surrounding this storm go to twitter.com and search #metterapescandal. It is essential that you, as the “public”, show your support for these innocent children, who were abandoned and forgotten for so long.
Some recent news coverage regarding this case can be found at:
http://100r.org/2012/12/rough-justice-in-indian-child-welfare/
http://www.argusleader.com/story/news/2014/05/03/secrecy-cloaks-investigations-sd-social-services/8682969/

Please boost this! The trafficking and ethnocide of indigenous children in the Americas is one of the biggest violations of human rights today, and one that EVERY adoptee and child advocate needs to know about!

bastardplanet:

lakotapeopleslawproject:

Become a MEMBER at http://lakota.cc/1kvf8ka. #OurChildrenAreSacred

In recent weeks, The Mette Affair has crept out of the shadows and has gained momentum. If you are not familiar with this case, please see http://lakotalaw.org/special-reports/the-mette-affair to familiarize yourself. This case epitomizes the corruption of the state of South Dakota and underscores why it is so crucial to create a Lakota run foster care system. We are determined that this deeply disturbing and bone chilling case of sexual and physical abuse of Lakota foster children by their foster parents never occurs again. A “Twitter Storm” began on July 13th and has gained significant ground. To see all of the relevant content surrounding this storm go to twitter.com and search #metterapescandal. It is essential that you, as the “public”, show your support for these innocent children, who were abandoned and forgotten for so long.

Some recent news coverage regarding this case can be found at:

http://100r.org/2012/12/rough-justice-in-indian-child-welfare/

http://www.argusleader.com/story/news/2014/05/03/secrecy-cloaks-investigations-sd-social-services/8682969/

Please boost this! The trafficking and ethnocide of indigenous children in the Americas is one of the biggest violations of human rights today, and one that EVERY adoptee and child advocate needs to know about!

Aug 11 '14

mik-coolerthanyou asked:

Just imagine though if every wealthy black family adopted a white kid. I feel like people would be upset about that. Idk. Its just weird

mik-coolerthanyou and reverseracism, you may be interested in this:

reverseracism:

People would be. Of course they would be, ‘what value can a black family teach a white kid’

- Susie

In 1904, a group of forty New York orphans were sent to live with Catholic families in Arizona. However, the Catholics turned out to be Mexicans and the local Anglos were so outraged at this race boundary transgression that they instigated a mass abduction of the children.

Through this direct action, trans-racial adoption as a white privilege was resolutely reinforced. This privilege continues in the contemporary era. One can only imagine the reactions if white European children were to be sent to African or Asian countries for international adoption.

In the pre-Civil Rights United States, a handful of states even went so far as to legislate against interracial adoption or even fostering of white children by non-whites, and in the late 1990s a widely publicized controversy erupted, when a black woman in Detroit wanted to adopt a white girl.

[…]The extremely few transracial adoptions of white children to non-white adopters that have taken place in contemporary USA not surprisingly also provoke hostile reactions and suspicions that the children might have been kidnapped and abducted, considering that historically there were laws banning and prohibiting people of colour to even foster white children[…]

Within Europe there is a long and similar tradition of stories[…] about Christian children who had been kidnapped and sacrificed for ritual murdering by Jews or Roma people. Such unfounded rumours often led to massacres, pogroms, and persecution.

Sources: 1 & 2 with commentary

Aug 10 '14

OK, time to go capslock!orphan…

DEAR BIO SPAWN,

STOP BEING DERAILING GASSLIGHTING FUCKWITS TO TRANSRACIAL ADOPTEES.

THE FACT THAT SOME OF YOU IGNORANT ASS SPAWN ARE FELLOW POC MAKES IT WORSE. THIS SHIT’S EXPECTED FROM WHITE PPL, BUT WHEN IT COMES FROM YOU IT’S NOTHING LESS THAN A BETRAYAL. (as if we weren’t excluded from poc communities enough already)

I HOPE YOUS REALIZE THAT THE SAME WHITE SAVIOR INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX THAT DICTATES ALL ADOPTEES MUST ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL FOR AN INCREASINGLY ANTI-BLACK, ABUSIVE, ABLEIST SYSTEM OF CHILD TRAFFICKING (yes truly) IS THE SAME COMPLEX THAT DECREES ALL POC PARENTS AS INFERIOR TO WHITES, ALL POOR PARENTS AS INFERIOR TO THE RICH, THAT BLACK AND INDIGENOUS COMMUNITIES DESERVE TO BE DECIMATED.

OH YOU MEAN YOU DIDN’T KNOW THAT WHITE PEOPLE CAN ADOPT AS MANY CHILDREN OF COLOR AS THEY WANT AND THEN ABANDON THEM WITH NO LEGAL CONSEQUENCES BUT POC WERE LITERALLY BANNED FROM ADOPTING WHITES (to the point where there’s still public outcry when black parents try to adopt white children)

OH AND IF YOU HAVE KIDS YOU BETTER PRAY YOU’RE NEVER CAUGHT IN POVERTY, NEVER UNJUSTLY ARRESTED, NEVER A SINGLE PARENT IN THE NON-WESTERN WORLD. BECAUSE IF YOU ARE, YOUR CHILDREN WILL AUTOMATICALLY BE BRANDED ORPHANS AND INSTRUCTED TO BE GRATEFUL WHEN THEY’RE TAKEN FROM YOU, WHILE YOU’LL BE BRANDED A WORTHLESS WHORE.

PUT DOWN THE WHITE SUPREMACY-UPHOLDING KOOL-AID, DO SOME READING, AND LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF FOR FUCKS SAKE.

YOURS IN ETERNAL INGRATITUDE,

X

Jul 31 '14
wolfperson1:

socialworkgradstudents:

waycoolhacky:

brandx:



U.S. Mother Gives Away 5-Year-Old Adopted Child From Haiti For Throwing A Temper Tantrum




"Having an instant multicultural family was magical for about two weeks,” says Stacey Conner, a 41-year-old American mom from Spokane, Washington.
After she volunteered in an orphanage in Haiti in 2005, Conner and her husband adopted a 5-year-old Haitian boy named “J.”
Conner claims the boy had attachment disorder and began a strict regimen of attachment parenting of constant surveillance in which a child must often ask for food and water. After two months, J threw a tantrum where he unintentionally hit Conner’s nose with the back of his head.
Conner says the 5-year-old’s strike was accidental, but describes it as “a domestic violence situation.”
"Forget love. Right then, I didn’t even like J.” J was then sent to live with another family in the Midwest.
Conner’s biological children adjusted seamlessly to life without their adoptive brother. But other people were puzzled. Neighbors who had seen J riding his bike asked, “Where’s your son?” When Conner answered truthfully, “I’d get the most horrified stares, so I’d keep walking. And I didn’t tell many out-of-town friends or extended family for months.”
Despite such events, the Conners were approved by local social workers to become a foster family, and in October 2013 received a 3-month-old boy as their first placement.

Sources: [x] [x]


Sounds like something out of The Onion.

IMPORTANT SHIT TO KNOW FOR CONTEXT
Kids with RAD can be really, really, really hard. It’s easy to assume that adoptive parents who have disrupted placements are just heartless shitheels (and some of them are), but until you have dealt with a RAD kid, you don’t know how difficult it can be. You could legit have some super dedicated amazing parents who contemplate disruption because they just don’t know what the fuck to do with RAD.
Because RAD is so hard, and because parents tend to get so little post-adoption support, and because there are so few professionals that are adoption-competent, and because adoption is an ethical nightmare land where people with lots of selfish ignorant horrible reasons for wanting to adopt are still able to do so with relative ease, there is quite an active industry for “treating” RAD that bilks some well-intentioned parents and deeply attracts some abusive ones.
If you work in the field of adoption or mental health, do your research and know some red flags. If a parent or professional says they engage in “attachment therapy,” get more information and details right away. “Attachment therapy” sounds like a nice and wonderful thing, but your definition of “attachment therapy” may not be theirs. It may be the kind of attachment therapy practiced by the family above, which is not about attachment but is about punitive, restrictive, abusive measures of control designed to break a child down so they may be “reattached” to their adoptive parents. It is a systematic plan for creating Stockholm syndrome, and it is vile and dangerous, but it used to have a monopoly on adoption treatments, and you will still encounter any number of people who believe in it whole-heartedly.
Some things to know:
Attachment therapy is a collection of techniques and theories that have been given widely different names or included under different modalities over the years.
Some of those previous modalities include rage reduction therapy, regression, holding therapy, and rebirthing
Researching the history of those therapies can give you a good nose for sensing out if the “attachment therapy” you’re hearing about is just “rage reduction therapy” repackaged
Rage reduction is the belief that rage must be “released” for the child to heal. Techniques for releasing the rage include forced holding, binding, tickling, pinching, and knuckling. Children may also be laid upon by full-grown adults for hours at a time, with their face held to force eye contact. The angrier the child is, the more it’s working.
Holding therapy requires bodily contact with the child, perhaps swaddled and restrained, for long periods of time. It can be done in a non-damaging way — many traumatized children will benefit from experiencing healthy, positive touch — but the key component that’s damaging is when this is non-consensual and the child exhibits distress.
Regression and rebirth therapy encourage children to re-experience their traumatic memories and return to the age they were when they experienced them. If they experienced trauma as a baby, they will be diapered and swaddled. Rebirthing requires wrapping a child tightly, sitting on them, and forcing them to fight their way out into the arms of their adoptive parent. Rebirthing is outlawed in a handful of states because this technique has killed children.
The basic theory behind “attachment therapy” is that children are enraged at a primitive, inaccessible level of their being, and this suppressed rage inhibits them from forming attachments and results in their behaviors, which include failure to develop a conscience, seeking control instead of closeness, and manipulation.
Children who require “attachment therapy” are considered at risk of becoming psychopaths without it. Because the “symptoms” include manipulation and an inability to recognize “love”, children who complain of abuse or describe their experience with these therapies as painful and terrible have no credibility — obviously, if they were “healed,” they would understand that this was for their own good.
"Attachment therapy" appeals to parents who are at the end of their ropes and have been promised that this will fix their children, AND it appeals to incredibly rigid, strict parents who value obedience.
"Attachment therapy" is also appealing because it initially appears to work. Some children become terrified of their parents and do whatever they can to avoid the abuse. It doesn’t matter if they are also exhibiting signs and symptoms of immense depression, dissociation, or withdrawal (although sometimes those are considered further "resistance"), as long as they are compliant.
And, more importantly, for reference, here are some red flags. If you hear a family or professional or treatment facility mention the following things, dig deeper and ask more questions, because they may be practicing “attachment therapy.” These red flags aren’t confirmations — the “attachment therapy” vernacular has entered some mainstream mental health circles and been morphed, so a family may talk about “strong-sitting” when what they actually mean is yoga or time-outs. But if you hear “strong-sitting,” you should immediately be asking that family to describe what that looks like, when it happens, how often it happens, etc.
Strong-sitting: the child must sit with their legs crossed and arms entwined. They may be forced to sit like this for hours, until they are calm and pleasant.
Strong-talking: the child must place their hand over their mouth. They are not allowed to speak until they are ready to join the family again. Frequently used on children who speak another language adopted into a family who does not speak that language, to break them of their first language.
"Allowed to join the family": this can be psychological (i.e. not allowed to speak to the family) or physical (not allowed to sit with the family at dinner). The right to be a part of the family is used as a privilege and punishment.
Attachment camp: there are a variety of camps that practice attachment therapy, separating the RAD child from the biological children and not allowing them to “join” the camp or their families until they are thoroughly broken and healed. These camps look like any other kind of therapeutic, adoption, or family camp from the materials. Look for children wearing blue or red bandanas — this is how they separate the RAD children from the other children.
Assumption that children always lie: the fact is, RAD children do lie, so this is difficult. But “attachment therapy” advocates assume that until the child is “healed,” nothing they say can be believed (including if the child is telling the parent they are being fatally hurt — this is how children have died during rebirthing therapy, their cries for help were assumed to be manipulation). The belief that these children will turn into psychopaths without intervention means that they are considered psychopaths already, and nothing they say or do can be trusted. It’s a very dangerous way to treat any kind of client, but especially the vulnerable.
Forced eye contact: “attachment therapy” proponents believe that the child must be forced to maintain eye contact with their parents. If they look away, their faces must be held. If they move their eyes, the parent must lie directly on top of them and hold their faces directly in front of theirs, so they can’t look away.
Restitutions: If a child messes up, they are forced to make restitution before they are allowed to “join the family” or acquire whatever privilege has been taken away (and for “attachment therapy,” privileges include beds, the right to speak, the right to go to the bathroom, the right to food, etc.). These restitutions may not be harmful by themselves (like, sweeping the floor), but the use of restitutions to acquire basic food, safety, or affection is incredibly damaging.
CHECK YOUR CLINICIAN CREDENTIALS. Many “attachment therapy” advocates have no clinical training or education. They are “attachment experts” or “attachment advocates” or “attachment specialists.” They are not psychologists, psychiatrists, doctors, or social workers, and they are not licensed.
Nancy Thomas, Foster Cline, Evergreen CO, or Love and Logic: Nancy Thomas and Foster Cline are the two flagship names in “attachment therapy.” If a family or clinician states that they follow these practices or believe in these techniques, it is the biggest red flag you could get. Probably the easiest way to initially check a treatment facility or camp to see if they are “attachment therapy” or actual therapy is to see if they’re listed on Nancy Thomas’ website. She has made quite a lucrative career over selling her model, and runs many camps. Foster Cline was initially based in Evergreen, CO, and many facilities there still use his Love and Logic model. He is no longer based in CO, because his licensure was stripped after one of his students killed a child during rebirthing therapy.
KNOW ABOUT ATTACHMENT THERAPY, social workers and clinicians, because if you ever work with an adoptive family, you WILL run into it, and you will need to know what you’re looking at, especially if you’re up against clinicians who still buy into it.

Quoting from brandx here on RAD, because I’m pretty sure this kid is too old for that:

Reactive Attachment Disorder (AKA Attachment Disorder) IS actually a legitimate condition.
But it’s ONLY applicable to children about 3 and under, entails completely responses, and is arguably not even a disorder (but Westerners gotta pathologize everything that isn’t 100% nuclear fam heteronormative, so). It means that if a child goes through a lot of displacement (orphanages, foster care etc.), they get confused as to who their primary caregivers are, so sometimes they attach to complete strangers.


The above comes from this response to an ask. But I highly recommend everyone checks out their blog.

Thanks wolfperson1. You should know that all of the information on Reactive Attachment Disorder that “socialworkgradstudents” just steamrolled onto my post is grossly inaccurate, and their information on attachment therapy pitifully outdated.
Such misinformation is bad enough in and of itself.
But the fact that this provincial bio spawn felt compelled to talk over an ACTUAL transracial international “RAD” adoptee, completely ignore my conveniently hyperlinked sources on the disorder, AND spread their pseudoscientific bullshit over the plight of a tiny Haitian child abandoned and then trafficked by white Americans —
It just goes to show why the U.S. adoption/foster system is as incompetent & abusive as it is with more child deaths than anywhere else in the industrialized world (even with Sweden trafficking far more adoptees re: own population). 
I’m still on hiatus and don’t have time to truly counteract socialworkgradstudents’ bullshit here. I just had to point this out for the many adoptees and our actual allies who follow this space. Lord deliver us class bastards from American social workers, JFC.

wolfperson1:

socialworkgradstudents:

waycoolhacky:

brandx:

U.S. Mother Gives Away 5-Year-Old Adopted Child From Haiti For Throwing A Temper Tantrum

"Having an instant multicultural family was magical for about two weeks,” says Stacey Conner, a 41-year-old American mom from Spokane, Washington.

After she volunteered in an orphanage in Haiti in 2005, Conner and her husband adopted a 5-year-old Haitian boy named “J.”

Conner claims the boy had attachment disorder and began a strict regimen of attachment parenting of constant surveillance in which a child must often ask for food and water. After two months, J threw a tantrum where he unintentionally hit Conner’s nose with the back of his head.

Conner says the 5-year-old’s strike was accidental, but describes it as “a domestic violence situation.”

"Forget love. Right then, I didn’t even like J.” J was then sent to live with another family in the Midwest.

Conner’s biological children adjusted seamlessly to life without their adoptive brother. But other people were puzzled. Neighbors who had seen J riding his bike asked, “Where’s your son?” When Conner answered truthfully, “I’d get the most horrified stares, so I’d keep walking. And I didn’t tell many out-of-town friends or extended family for months.”

Despite such events, the Conners were approved by local social workers to become a foster family, and in October 2013 received a 3-month-old boy as their first placement.

Sources: [x] [x]

Sounds like something out of The Onion.

IMPORTANT SHIT TO KNOW FOR CONTEXT

Kids with RAD can be really, really, really hard. It’s easy to assume that adoptive parents who have disrupted placements are just heartless shitheels (and some of them are), but until you have dealt with a RAD kid, you don’t know how difficult it can be. You could legit have some super dedicated amazing parents who contemplate disruption because they just don’t know what the fuck to do with RAD.

Because RAD is so hard, and because parents tend to get so little post-adoption support, and because there are so few professionals that are adoption-competent, and because adoption is an ethical nightmare land where people with lots of selfish ignorant horrible reasons for wanting to adopt are still able to do so with relative ease, there is quite an active industry for “treating” RAD that bilks some well-intentioned parents and deeply attracts some abusive ones.

If you work in the field of adoption or mental health, do your research and know some red flags. If a parent or professional says they engage in “attachment therapy,” get more information and details right away. “Attachment therapy” sounds like a nice and wonderful thing, but your definition of “attachment therapy” may not be theirs. It may be the kind of attachment therapy practiced by the family above, which is not about attachment but is about punitive, restrictive, abusive measures of control designed to break a child down so they may be “reattached” to their adoptive parents. It is a systematic plan for creating Stockholm syndrome, and it is vile and dangerous, but it used to have a monopoly on adoption treatments, and you will still encounter any number of people who believe in it whole-heartedly.

Some things to know:

  • Attachment therapy is a collection of techniques and theories that have been given widely different names or included under different modalities over the years.
  • Some of those previous modalities include rage reduction therapy, regression, holding therapy, and rebirthing
  • Researching the history of those therapies can give you a good nose for sensing out if the “attachment therapy” you’re hearing about is just “rage reduction therapy” repackaged
  • Rage reduction is the belief that rage must be “released” for the child to heal. Techniques for releasing the rage include forced holding, binding, tickling, pinching, and knuckling. Children may also be laid upon by full-grown adults for hours at a time, with their face held to force eye contact. The angrier the child is, the more it’s working.
  • Holding therapy requires bodily contact with the child, perhaps swaddled and restrained, for long periods of time. It can be done in a non-damaging way — many traumatized children will benefit from experiencing healthy, positive touch — but the key component that’s damaging is when this is non-consensual and the child exhibits distress.
  • Regression and rebirth therapy encourage children to re-experience their traumatic memories and return to the age they were when they experienced them. If they experienced trauma as a baby, they will be diapered and swaddled. Rebirthing requires wrapping a child tightly, sitting on them, and forcing them to fight their way out into the arms of their adoptive parent. Rebirthing is outlawed in a handful of states because this technique has killed children.
  • The basic theory behind “attachment therapy” is that children are enraged at a primitive, inaccessible level of their being, and this suppressed rage inhibits them from forming attachments and results in their behaviors, which include failure to develop a conscience, seeking control instead of closeness, and manipulation.
  • Children who require “attachment therapy” are considered at risk of becoming psychopaths without it. Because the “symptoms” include manipulation and an inability to recognize “love”, children who complain of abuse or describe their experience with these therapies as painful and terrible have no credibility — obviously, if they were “healed,” they would understand that this was for their own good.
  • "Attachment therapy" appeals to parents who are at the end of their ropes and have been promised that this will fix their children, AND it appeals to incredibly rigid, strict parents who value obedience.
  • "Attachment therapy" is also appealing because it initially appears to work. Some children become terrified of their parents and do whatever they can to avoid the abuse. It doesn’t matter if they are also exhibiting signs and symptoms of immense depression, dissociation, or withdrawal (although sometimes those are considered further "resistance"), as long as they are compliant.

And, more importantly, for reference, here are some red flags. If you hear a family or professional or treatment facility mention the following things, dig deeper and ask more questions, because they may be practicing “attachment therapy.” These red flags aren’t confirmations — the “attachment therapy” vernacular has entered some mainstream mental health circles and been morphed, so a family may talk about “strong-sitting” when what they actually mean is yoga or time-outs. But if you hear “strong-sitting,” you should immediately be asking that family to describe what that looks like, when it happens, how often it happens, etc.

  • Strong-sitting: the child must sit with their legs crossed and arms entwined. They may be forced to sit like this for hours, until they are calm and pleasant.
  • Strong-talking: the child must place their hand over their mouth. They are not allowed to speak until they are ready to join the family again. Frequently used on children who speak another language adopted into a family who does not speak that language, to break them of their first language.
  • "Allowed to join the family": this can be psychological (i.e. not allowed to speak to the family) or physical (not allowed to sit with the family at dinner). The right to be a part of the family is used as a privilege and punishment.
  • Attachment camp: there are a variety of camps that practice attachment therapy, separating the RAD child from the biological children and not allowing them to “join” the camp or their families until they are thoroughly broken and healed. These camps look like any other kind of therapeutic, adoption, or family camp from the materials. Look for children wearing blue or red bandanas — this is how they separate the RAD children from the other children.
  • Assumption that children always lie: the fact is, RAD children do lie, so this is difficult. But “attachment therapy” advocates assume that until the child is “healed,” nothing they say can be believed (including if the child is telling the parent they are being fatally hurt — this is how children have died during rebirthing therapy, their cries for help were assumed to be manipulation). The belief that these children will turn into psychopaths without intervention means that they are considered psychopaths already, and nothing they say or do can be trusted. It’s a very dangerous way to treat any kind of client, but especially the vulnerable.
  • Forced eye contact: “attachment therapy” proponents believe that the child must be forced to maintain eye contact with their parents. If they look away, their faces must be held. If they move their eyes, the parent must lie directly on top of them and hold their faces directly in front of theirs, so they can’t look away.
  • Restitutions: If a child messes up, they are forced to make restitution before they are allowed to “join the family” or acquire whatever privilege has been taken away (and for “attachment therapy,” privileges include beds, the right to speak, the right to go to the bathroom, the right to food, etc.). These restitutions may not be harmful by themselves (like, sweeping the floor), but the use of restitutions to acquire basic food, safety, or affection is incredibly damaging.
  • CHECK YOUR CLINICIAN CREDENTIALS. Many “attachment therapy” advocates have no clinical training or education. They are “attachment experts” or “attachment advocates” or “attachment specialists.” They are not psychologists, psychiatrists, doctors, or social workers, and they are not licensed.
  • Nancy Thomas, Foster Cline, Evergreen CO, or Love and Logic: Nancy Thomas and Foster Cline are the two flagship names in “attachment therapy.” If a family or clinician states that they follow these practices or believe in these techniques, it is the biggest red flag you could get. Probably the easiest way to initially check a treatment facility or camp to see if they are “attachment therapy” or actual therapy is to see if they’re listed on Nancy Thomas’ website. She has made quite a lucrative career over selling her model, and runs many camps. Foster Cline was initially based in Evergreen, CO, and many facilities there still use his Love and Logic model. He is no longer based in CO, because his licensure was stripped after one of his students killed a child during rebirthing therapy.

KNOW ABOUT ATTACHMENT THERAPY, social workers and clinicians, because if you ever work with an adoptive family, you WILL run into it, and you will need to know what you’re looking at, especially if you’re up against clinicians who still buy into it.

Quoting from brandx here on RAD, because I’m pretty sure this kid is too old for that:

Reactive Attachment Disorder (AKA Attachment Disorder) IS actually a legitimate condition.
But it’s ONLY applicable to children about 3 and under, entails completely responses, and is arguably not even a disorder (but Westerners gotta pathologize everything that isn’t 100% nuclear fam heteronormative, so). It means that if a child goes through a lot of displacement (orphanages, foster care etc.), they get confused as to who their primary caregivers are, so sometimes they attach to complete strangers.
The above comes from this response to an ask. But I highly recommend everyone checks out their blog.

Thanks wolfperson1. You should know that all of the information on Reactive Attachment Disorder that “socialworkgradstudents” just steamrolled onto my post is grossly inaccurate, and their information on attachment therapy pitifully outdated.

Such misinformation is bad enough in and of itself.

But the fact that this provincial bio spawn felt compelled to talk over an ACTUAL transracial international “RAD” adoptee, completely ignore my conveniently hyperlinked sources on the disorder, AND spread their pseudoscientific bullshit over the plight of a tiny Haitian child abandoned and then trafficked by white Americans

It just goes to show why the U.S. adoption/foster system is as incompetent & abusive as it is with more child deaths than anywhere else in the industrialized world (even with Sweden trafficking far more adoptees re: own population).

I’m still on hiatus and don’t have time to truly counteract socialworkgradstudents’ bullshit here. I just had to point this out for the many adoptees and our actual allies who follow this space. Lord deliver us class bastards from American social workers, JFC.