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Saw this posted….an adoptee is forbidden to learn his language where he is from as his adoptive father forbids it. Normally I don’t use the term adoptive but in this case this father doesn’t deserve to be called a father with his narrow minded thinking!
All adoptive parent’s please do not be like this prick of an adoptive dad. We as adoptees need to know about our history, our identity. It doesn’t mean we are leaving you. By doing this you are just pushing your adopted kid out of your family when all they needed was loving support.
This is ethnocide, plain and simple.
As an adoptee I get a lot of what if questions. What if you wasn’t adopted? What if you were adopted by a White family? What if you and your twin brother was split up? I don’t really like these types of questions. Do you all like answering these types of questions?
nope. it’s annoying and the people never ask because they actually give a shit - they just want to satisfy their own curiosity.
I’d actually be willing to discuss such things with fellow adoptees, but adoptees don’t ask these questions because we know just how invasive and inappropriate they are.
being the adopted child of an adoptee is weird af like i have my own identity issues to deal with, but then i have my mother’s bio and adopted family history to try to sort through and basically adoptee life is just one big clusterfuck of misinformation
the ONLY people I maintain this space for are myself (decolonizing my mind) and fellow orphans, adoptees, and foster kids.
And to a certain extent, POC and indigenous parents looking to protect their communities against ethnocidal “Kill the Native, Save the Child” programs both international and domestic.
If you belong to one of the aforementioned groups, feel free to get in touch. There are a surprising number of class bastards on here, which is glorious, but it can be hard to find peers because there aren’t so many who post about adoption and orphanhood, which is also cool though, you do YOU bbs. <3
If you don’t belong to one of the aforementioned groups, you’re welcome to introduce yourself, but I really don’t give a fig one way or the other if you stick around, and I definitely don’t care about educating you. Sorry not sorry.
I'm so disgusted by the disproportionate amount of people whining in the notes on your post about the Haitian boy who was given up about "not all white people". They had the god damn nerve to look at the source material and ONLY choose to cherrypick the people going "white people are awful", yell at them because their precious egos were hurt, and ignore the damn point of the post entirely. I am so incredibly disgusted.
Heh. The latest accusation is that I’m “trying to cause trouble" with my coverage of adopted child trafficking that (unlike that “Good Housekeeping” trash mag) isn’t some abuse apologist defense of a racist American who has a history of hurting animals.
White feelings > the lives of orphaned children of color
Must be a day that ends in ‘y’.
NYU Shanghai, to be exact. I’m at that point in my life where I just have to discover my lost culture. I just need to. And I can’t stop thinking about how unique this university is and how it could give me that connection that I’ve been looking for.
They took it better than I expected. They haven’t tried to talk me out of it or anything, but they do seem slightly uncomfortable with the idea.
On numerous occasions, they’ve asked me, “Why do you want to go? So you can become fluent and stay there?”
…and at that moment, things made a lot more sense to me - why they decided not to teach me about my culture, why they’ve never taken me back to visit my homeland, or why they don’t want to talk about race and adoption. They are afraid that I’m going to fall in love with it and will want to stay.
But is that so wrong? I want to fall in love with my culture. I want to have the option to stay if I want to. But they shouldn’t see this as a bad thing. In fact, it would’ve been better if they taught me these things when I was young so that I wouldn’t grow up with such a strong thirst for adventure and discovery.
I feel like this might be a fear of some adoptive parents. They don’t want to lose their child. They want their child to be all theirs. But we will never be only theirs. We are also children of other families, cultures, and countries. You can’t take that way from us. You can try to hide it or keep it away, but someday, we might grow up and take things into our own hands.
You aren’t losing your child to their first culture and country. You’re sharing them. International adoptees have the right to know the land where they came from if they want to.
Any parent not wanting their child to live so far away from them is (somewhat) understandable, but holy balls that does NOT for one second justify their refusal to face up to racism and cut you off from your birth culture completely.
Ugh. Sorry your adoptive parents are so horribly unsupportive about your birth right to your culture. Hope your application goes well and you go on the adventure of a lifetime. Much love to ya. X
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